Puppy Socialization Part 4: Watching and Becoming Part of the World

If you’ve made it to this fourth and final blog congratulations!

Most dog owners understand that they want their puppies to behave well with puppies and humans when they meet. They want them to not be fearful, reactive or aggressive. We all dream of that dog who can lay at our feet while we read a book in the park or while we drink our coffee. Owners dream of hikes and walks where their dogs don’t run off after other people or dogs, don’t lunge and bark as new things approach and a dog who won’t drag them across the street to visit a new person and jump all over them. The ability to ‘exist’ in society with everyone is often the overlooked part of socialization.

This is just simply teaching the dog to ‘be’. To be able to observe. To hear, smell, watch at a ‘safe’ distance and explore their world at their own pace. I don’t coerce interactions. I reward bravery and confidence and relaxation. I reward what I want to see. This looks different on different days. One day we may go sit at a park. Just sit and watch. I usually have the puppy on a leash or in an expen. I try to stay a good distance from the busy traffic. People moving about, possibly other dogs. I just want to see my puppies relax in the environment. Sometimes I take their breakfast and let them eat in new places. Sometimes a toy. Sometimes nothing but a mat to lay on. I just want them to do their thing in a new place. Another day we might go sit in the car in the home depot parking lot and watch people walk by. We might even sit in that parking lot as I think the dog is ready for more stimulation.

Watching and dismissing or ignoring is also how I would setup socialization with other pets in the home that the puppy will not interact with. I would use barriers and reward the puppy for dismissing the other pet. Watch the cat walk by and stay calm? Get a treat. This is a simplistic version but I want the cat to be ignored as much as possible so I would setup interactions that encouraged that behavior.

I told you in a previous blog that I don’t let everyone say hi as they walk by my house or the puppy’s expen. The puppy can see that people walk by the house and them and it’s fine - nothing to react about. Again they have toys and eat out front. They hear noises and see cars but it becomes a part of life and nothing to worry about.

I reward calm behavior and focus to me in the presence of new things or things that might concern them. On days they are upset or concerned we will create space for them from whatever bothers them or we will just go home, I will think of how to set it up better the next time. Just because you plan an outing if it’s too much give the puppy more space or it’s okay to just scrap that outing and try again. I once took puppies on an adventure and it was far more busy than I expected. There were some dogs in the area that seemed a bit too excited when I got out and I didn’t want the puppies to feed off their energy so I just packed up and went somewhere else. If I didn’t have another option I would have just come home.

We go to a farm. We may travel near live stock pens some days. Puppies get to walk on and investigate many surfaces (mud, sand, pine straw, tarps, fallen tree branches, etc). They can hear noises from the farm like loud engines and animals without being scared because there is no ‘danger’ to them.

Since the farm property is fenced so they are able to run free if I choose - if it wasn’t a long line would be an appropriate substitute. This really depends on how much I think the puppy is ready to make reasonably good choices. Sometimes I keep puppies on leash because I have an agenda of what I would like the to explore. When they are off leash they are in charge of where we go and what we see. Bugs, pine cones, sticks, whatever they want to explore, they explore. I reward check-ins with treats if they happen but I use this space primarily to allow the puppies or adult dogs to decompress on their own time. Allowing them (and me) this time to breathe without the pressure of people and social interactions allows us to refresh, rejuvenate and be ready for the next interactions that may be more social.

Set your puppy up to be successful in whatever you are doing. Build their confidence. Allow them to explore and recover from new things. If they become scared it is okay to reassure them. Tell them it will be okay and give them more space and/or time if you think the challenge is something they can reasonably work out. It is also important to know the typical personality of your breed (or the majority breed in a mixed breed) and understand how that might play into socialization. Golden Retrievers are historically an exuberant and friendly breed. A Belgian Malinois bred to be confident and bonded primarily to their human partner. You shouldn’t expect these puppies to act the same as adults and they will need other things during their socialization periods . You many have to work more on the Golden seeing people or dogs and remaining calm at a distance where the Malinois puppy you may work on more positive interactions of neutral people who approach, do not interact with the puppy but perhaps might with the owner and leaves because the Malinois does not have the same desire to be outgoing with new people as a Golden might.

The quality of your socialization sessions matter much more than the quantity. Plan out your sessions. Know what you are hoping to achieve with each interaction or outing. Responsible breeders should have started this process for you. Puppies from rescues and older dogs can begin this process once you get them. The process may take longer with an older dog but planned, safe social interaction with humans and other dogs will help teach your dog confidence and about how they fit into their new world.

If you need help, ask a trainer to help you with a socialization plan.

Puppy Socialization Part 3: Time for Humans

Canine social behaviors aren’t the only interactions we are shaping as our puppy grows. We are also shaping their behavior and emotions toward other humans.

Puppies are always learning. If young dogs are exposed to kids that run up and startle them, this may cause them to be unsure about how children will behave in the future. The puppy may start to shy away from kids or bark at them, warning them to “stay back”.

A puppy who witnesses an adult dog who is leery of strangers may also become unsure. This is why it is a good idea to take your puppy out alone, or maybe sometimes with a confident/stable adult dog. However, always be mindful that the puppy should have some exposures without other dogs for them to “rely on” for confidence.

Puppies who think every person is a friend with treats may become over aroused when they see new people - I know I might get more excited about new people if they always showed up with tacos! A more shy or aloof dog may become stressed - how might an introvert feel if every time they saw a person, that person came up and hugged them? They may become anxious about the interaction. Again, it’s about balance and planning.

I am selective about which kids and adults my puppies meet. I have a friend with two girls who are great. They can get excited around them, but for the most part they are calm and will allow the pups to investigate them. They hold puppies who come up to them, but they don’t chase down the puppies who prefer to give the kids more space. I want my puppies to not be afraid of kids, but I also do not want them to get so excited about kids that they become rude and jump all over them.

I plan for and dictate how much interaction each adult will have with my puppies. Ones I know are savvy about dog behavior have more interaction than those who just want to see the cute puppy. My fellow trainers have a bit more latitude in interaction than the neighbor who walks by my yard and asks to come say hello. I often say “not today” or “not right now” when someone from the street asks to see pups. Sometimes I let them come in the yard and pet pups through the ex pen bars. This allows puppies to control if they want to say hi or if they want to sit back and watch.

You can learn a lot by watching, and that will be our next topic - watching the world.

Puppy Socialization Part 2: It Starts with Dogs

Dogs and humans are both animals who learn by watching. When we are children and young adults, we watch those around us. Our parents, teachers, friends, and family teach us what is appropriate - and sometimes what is not. Today we will look at when socialization actually begins and how we can continue on with the canine socialization process.

A puppy’s mother begins to teach them about conflict resolution when she weans them. Most mothers will simply run away from their puppies or move to higher ground when they no longer wish to nurse them. They do not growl or bite the pups. Most have a neutral or sometimes playful body language. You can see an example of this by watching Lava with her 5 week old puppies.

As the puppies spend their first 8-12 weeks with their littermates and mom, they start to learn how the canine part of society expects them to behave. They may even be introduced to a few other adults or puppies who also are there to teach them important life skills. However, these interactions should be thought out and planned for. 

Puppies should be allowed interact with appropriate adult dogs and other puppies to learn social behavior. Adults and young dogs who are unknown or who do not behave appropriately should not be used to socialize the puppies. It should also be noted that these dogs are not there to ‘baby sit the puppy’ and interactions should be supervised and ended if the older dog (or puppy) is trying to escape the situation and the other playmate(s) are not allowing them to walk away.

This rule continues after you bring your puppy is part of your home. Play-date members should be screened ahead of time and should be of appropriate size, strength, and energy for your puppy. A mis-match in puppy energies or style could lead to one puppy feeling overwhelmed by the others and becoming insecure in canine groups. 

As your dog gets older and becomes more confident, you may further diversify their play group. However, you should avoid putting the pup with a dog who will overpower them right from the beginning. 

The flip side is also a concern. If your puppy is always the pushy/bossy one, they may learn to expect that future playmates will let them “win” also. A balanced play partner match where both puppies can “win” sometimes is of great benefit to your puppy’s social development. 

Consider the same situation as if these were human toddlers. If one was always taking the toys from everyone else, or if one was always having his toys taken, we would intervene and try to make things more equitable. The same is true with dogs. Keep an eye on them and intervene if things get too one-sided. 

If you have other animals the dog will interact with, you may want to also set up interaction with those animals based on HOW the interaction will occur. Will the dog play with cats? Will it snuggle with your rats? Will it be expected to leave the reptile habitat alone? Think about this and plan your socialization based on the outcome that you desire.

In our next post, we will discuss socializing with humans.

Puppy Socialization Part 1: What is it?

Socialization is a term often used when breeders, trainers, and owners talk about a new puppy. Socialization (or a lack of) is often the reason given as to why an older or rescue dog may not behave the way we expect or want them to. 

New owners often set out on the journey of socialization with the best intentions, but many do not understand what they are actually teaching the dog and how to properly socialize for success. 

It’s common for a trainer to hear things like: 

“I took him everywhere with me!”

“We always let dogs and people say hi to him when we are on walks.”

“He plays with my neighbor’s dog so he is socialized.”

However, the process is a bit more complicated. Socialization is indeed the activity of mixing socially with others, but it is also the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society. 

How does society expect dogs to behave, and how would YOU like your dog to behave? Everyone can probably agree that we expect dogs to listen to basic commands from their owners/handlers. Dogs who lunge and bark at cars or people as they walk by your yard become a nuisance. When we see a dog with their owner at a park or at a coffee shop, we expect to be able to walk past the dog without interaction. When your dog is at the park with you, are they relaxed? Or are they excited and trying to meet all the people?

It’s so tempting to let your puppy say hi to everyone because we NEED those positive human interactions, but what is the puppy really learning? 

You may think your puppy is learning that people are good and kind. The puppy may actually be learning, “When I see a new person and they come say hi or I go say hi! Many times they even have TREATS!”

This is why we often see dogs who seem to say, “OMG!!!! I MUST GO SEE ALL THE PEOPLE! THEY MIGHT HAVE TREATS! THEY WANT TO PET ME!” On the other hand, we also see dogs who may seem to say, “Oh no, here comes ANOTHER person I have to say hi to. I really don’t feel like it, but mom will have them give me a treat, so I guess I will pretend to care.” 

Dogs, just like people, may be more extroverted or introverted due to their breeds and individual personalities. Both types have different training challenges. Through socialization at a young age, we can tailor our plan to build each dog’s confidence based on their own natural breed tendencies and traits. 

Over this series of 4 blog posts, we will look at socialization with other dogs, humans, and the world. I hope you will follow us throughout the series!

***Socialization does not have to stop during a pandemic. Although we are challenged to stay at home as much as we can and social distance, the mental health and well-being of our young dogs and new additions is also important. Over the next few weeks, we will discuss different components of the socialization process. These components can still be addressed while adhering to local and state regulations on social distancing and minimizing the spread. If you need help developing a socialization plan for your new puppy now or in the future, please reach out. We will be happy to help you through our remote consultations and training sessions.***

Would I Do It Differently? Reflecting on Loss.

Garth Brooks sings a song called “The Dance”. Those lyrics are well known even if you don’t listen to country music, but for those who aren’t familiar with the song the words that ring true for so many are in the chorus and say, “…now I'm glad I didn't know, The way it all would end the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain, But I'd of had to miss the dance.”

Last week I came home to find one of my young dogs dead. He had just turned 3. I was crushed. I was devastated. He was the first dog from nearly a decade of breeding to cross The Bridge - well before his time. This puppy that I loved from the day he was born and had such great plans for and goals for was suddenly gone. This dog that was so friendly and eager and loving wouldn’t get to swim or play or give any more kisses. I wasn’t with him when he passed and I felt incredible guilt that he passed alone while I was at a show with my other dogs for the day. It was tragic on so many levels and it is still heartbreaking. We ruled out genetic causes which was good for the genetics of my other dogs and my breeding program, but that offered very little comfort when I faced not having him with me anymore to play.

It also got me thinking and reflecting on the 3 years we had together. What had we done? What did we accomplish? He had so much potential but yet we had very few titles. He was learning weave poles with the hopes of starting agility this fall. 3 days before he passed he was blasting through channel weaves. I was days from entering him in his first non-FAST agility run. He had been visiting dock diving events and getting more confident on his swimming, jumping off the ramp and water retrieves with the hopes of competing next season. He had done FAST CAT and Coursing Tests and some Barn Hunt and was titled in those. We planned to make his rally debut at our breed nationals in 6 months. We had so much ahead of us.

Then I thought, “would I change it?” So I thought, should I have pushed to get him in the ring sooner? Should I have put him in agility right at 15 months and just faked the parts we didn’t really know yet? I’ve done it before. He would have titled. Should I have just done rally and hoped for the best even if it wasn’t ‘good’ because he mostly just stayed with me when on leash? Did the score really matter? Did the title? Did the ribbons? Did the bragging rights that he was titled at a young age? I have had dogs title early in life. I have had top dogs in their sports and in their breed. I have earned many ribbons (that I very much enjoy showing off photos of). But, none of those things would bring him back. None of those things would have changed the situation now.

So I started thinking about what we HAD done. He got to go to the farm with me pretty often when I worked. He got to run and play and swim. He got to go paddle boarding. He got to go to the pool and have a blast swimming for his chicken. He would bark and bark when he knew that was where we were he was so excited. He got to chase bags in fields - quite possibly one of his favorite things to do. He loved to run and chase. He had a great recall and I was almost surprised he would go that far from me to chase bags but he adored it. He got to go on trips with me. He got to train in many different things. He got to sleep in the bed. I didn’t put pressure on him to learn all the sports young. We made great fun out of everything he did. He had the BEST attitude about learning things. We had an amazing relationship. I was his person. 110% he loved me and doing things with me more than anything or anyone else.

When I think about that I don’t think I would have changed anything about his life. I will always wish he was still here and we had more time, but I don’t wish I packed more competition into his 3 years - because during those 3 years we built a relationship that laid the foundation for the great things that were to come. Even if they won’t now. He wasn’t stressed about shows or competition. He didn’t stress in training or in the few competition events we did do because it was fun. It was about the journey. I really just enjoyed doing things with him. We always think we have time with young dogs but often we get so excited we rush them into things before they are truly ready - and many times we suffer a fall out somewhere along the way for that.

We as humans and handlers are so easy to push things too far too fast. Stop. Take a breath. Enjoy the day. Enjoy the small things - a day with a 5 month old pup with no accidents in the house, the day your puppy finally learns that statue in the neighbor’s yard isn’t scary, the time your dog was chasing that rabbit but came when you called instead, the joy on their face when you turn them loose for an off leash sniff and walk. Maybe you have time and maybe you don’t. Titles in themselves don’t define our relationships. Stop pressuring yourself and your dogs to get in the ring or the field. Stop comparing your dogs accomplishments at a certain age to someone else’s dog. Enjoy them. Enjoy watching them learn and explore and celebrate life.

Micah wasn’t here long. He was gone long before I was ready to say goodbye but, just like all my other dogs still taught me. He taught me to enjoy my dogs and our relationship first as companions and partners because that is why I - and many of you - have dogs in the first place. Enjoy watching them run and play and hike and swim. Enjoy sitting on the couch and watching TV together. Then, enjoy teaching them new things and building a working relationship. Finally, if we are blessed enough to get to enter a ring and perform what we’ve learned together then we enjoy the journey through titles and ribbons.

So would I change things about my time with Micah? No. We did what mattered most. We loved each other.

Will I change my timeline with other dogs? Nope. We will trial when we are ready and in the mean time we will enjoy life together - I will enjoy letting my dogs have fun and be dogs while we prepare for sports.

I’m glad I didn’t know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. I’m glad I didn’t know our time was going to be so short. I’m glad we had our dance, though it was far too short it was full and fun and I don’t regret anything. The pain in real. The loss hurts. In the end I’d do it all again for my little man.

Until we meet again my Micah Moo…. I love you.